Life is so unfair.
Some people everyday goes out, everyweek went out to city meets friends & hangout, how much she spent? she gets home happy and keep her mind happy for the rest of the week. Some people can go hometown, can leave her son and go out on her own, go where she wants, buy what she needs, meet anyone she can. her siblings often comes to visits, she doesnt spent ?
Me, there's no some of me, coz no one can be so stupid as me. No going out, no shopping even step into mall, no friends to hangout, no need spent on coffee & tea. Just occasional dining at restaurant, i have to hear nasty words. sarcastic remarks. Even everyday already so bored to death at home, playing games, watching free drama shows still invites sarcastic remarks, its so sickening. How can a person so sick? he has freedom, yet treats his spouse like a guard dog- leashed and neck being tied around its small dog house only could move around its own house.
Everyday is so tiring, he just goes out when he happy, doesnt need to consider small baby, doesnt need to pack anything just Go. how nice!
iam so dead sick of this man. how can a husband at this year 2016 soo sickening selfish?
how long more i have to keep enduring?
iam alive but living so dead.
what he wants from me!!
Even iam just stay home, he humiliate me in so many ways, but if i want to buy anything he'd not be happy. he decides everything!! then he complaints about me.
what the heck??? just say you want me to dissapear! you want your kids, you want them being care in good hands, but you dont want their mom! I hate you

You are not just a pet.
How many words i type, the journey that you and i ever shared no other human ever know. My dear, although plenty that i couldnt make it up to you.. how much i wish you hear it. How much i wish you to be happy. You had left.. in an uncared way, i really am sorry, i really am helpless, i really am so heart broken. Ive always afraid of this day, recent years i couldnt pamper you.. i always afraid that you'll be hurt if i treat you well, because i had no choice but to leave you in a care of other person. Dear.. what should i really do? what should i do to make sure you could go to the side of God ? My heart so painfull... you really are precious to me, but i didnt fight for you, its my bad, iam so regret. I couldnt stop my mind the last moment we seeing each other. you already so thin and painfull, yet i didnt know! iam so angry to myself that i did not realize that.. please please.. let me make it up.. please please God.. i will read you prayer, please God.. Please.. please pity her. please please pity her.. she really was a good doggy, she really really pitiful. Please take care of her from now on, please.. hear me out God. i beg You..

My brain is so pain ive been up for 20hours, i dont know how to stay alive tommorrow. I hate everyone, i hate my life, i hate my choice, i hate my destiny. I hate that person who put me in this situation. I hate every empty words he ever said. I hate myself always believing it.