Do whatever you like!
talk like crap and your promise always a big LIE
Love your own family as much as you like, just dont involve MINE in there! your love ones is not mine! your family isnt mine too, why couldnt you understand bastard!
I risk my life having kids, i ruined my happy days for you now in living in eternal sadness and insomia, you still unhappy? You wanna make me worse than i already have, torture my mind makes me go insane.

One day iam gonna leave this world no longer needs to cry and sad everyday, hopefully in the next life, i will never meet those people. Whenever i think about my days are going to be real tough, it makes me want to end my life soon.

Tears are the most unbearable for me coz it show how much iam being controlled by the fuck of this damn family. Its 2016 already, still lots of woman arent treated like a human just like me.
We married our husband not because parents are poor, nor because they offer big sum of money, neither they leave you huge inheritance yet, its one guy you had your ceremony but you're married to whole family behind him. That moment you finished your wedding ceremony, your whole life is bound like a slave. Cant speak words you want to, cant do what you like, cant live the way you want. You keep wonder, whats the point of living, whats the point of having kids ?

Dear Luna,

iam stress

i cant take these burden i feel so useless and so tired of my life as if it really has no single meaning at all. I cant survive this place alone, i cant expected anything from my husband, and i am so alone.

Im making loads of sacrifices that others wont do, no matter how i regrets about it everything will not change according to my needs, life never side onto me, situatuon always push me to the corner as if wanting me end my life soon. My body is tired, my heart is hurt and my mind is ruined.

 

I didnt get a boy and i swear iam terribly upset by it.
why does other people get it without any hassle ?
I shouldnt be the one being blamed, but Yes they blame me!!
I am so sick of hearing "how nice woul it be if its a boy" yeah, fuck yes it would be really damn nice i know it too. How desperately i was before this, i even think of killing it if it isnt a boy at 3mth old. But God always like this, always play a prank on me, that i only know the actual result at 5th mths old.
I dont understand how giving me another girl would help me from my situation now. OR maybe, i owe this girl another sin in my previous life Again??

Guek Lai Nightmare

Saat pertama kali gua pakai aie guek lai, gua stress berat ampe nangis2 ga tahan sama perangainya. Malas.Penipu.Pencuri.Tukang Tidur & Kasar sama baby.
Sejak hamil ke - 2, setiap kali tidak bisa tidur pasti khawatir soal guek lai yg akan datang ini.
Dan sedihnya, saat sudah dekat lahiran, saya dengar dari temen bahwa mommy yg sedang dijaga calon bibi gueklai ku ini stress dibuatnya. Saya pingin sekali tidak pakai jasa bibi gueklai, tapi suami tidak mau mendukung sama sekali sedangkan saya lahiran via cesar.
Sekarang ini baru hari ke 6, bibi gueklai baru kerja 5hari disini. Saya tidak bisa tidur, ngoroknya luar biasa keras. baby eek selalu tidak mau dibersihkan sampe baru2 hari ke 2 kerja baby sudah kena ruam. Padahal sudah pakai popok, tapi tetep malas ganti, supaya mudah, nyusui baby langsung dari box tidak dipangku juga tidak disendawakan.
Saya jadi pingin berhentikan dia tanpa tunggu 1bulan, namun tidak tau bagaimana.
Apakah semua jasa gueklai seperti itu?
mengapa orang lain bisa tahan 1bulan, saya tidak ?
Bicaranya sok banget, sok hebat sok pinter & terlalau dibuat buat deh.

Luna chan
4am & havent sleep at all

Too many things i must worry
Too much ridiculos things happens before my eyes
Too much injustice i cant stand, but iam helpless

Manis luarnya belum tentu manis dagingnya
Cantik kau lihat belum tentu baik hatinya
means:
Dont judge a book by its cover
Dont you think sweet talk people really sweet inside out.
Dont you only loves a person just because she always sweet talk to you, and pretending they cares about you.
I dont need your love actually, but i hate the most just because i didnt pretend, you keeps attacking me in any directions!
You keep thinking you're the best, you can keep on torturing me, whether i die because you ruin my life, or i live in misery all thanks to you, one fine day you'll die too. Humans all die some day, and i wont shed tears for you and i am very sure, those you think they love you dearly, will even laugh out loud in front of your deadbody and hapily enjoying how much you've been cheated by their fake sweet words. ha ha ha

It is raining tonight its 2am.
This is lonely me
I wonder what have i done to them? makes them hate me so much, that they doesnt realise how much they have hurt me?
How much i wish they never appear before me.
Since they doesnt like me, then why keeps pestering me then?
Iam so powerless, not because im afraid of them i dont live begging their money, i thrive and i earn of my own, iam forced to keep silence is because i respect my husband. Yet, every each of them never respect my husband at all, coz they dont see me as a family member.
So anyone who good at sweet-talk will be loved dearly, i know this too well.. the one & only great evil in my horror story is that Evil Lady.
She is so blind that she always listen to those who sweet talk her, she didnt know that behind her back, the sweet talk ones is even far more lethal than she could ever imagine.
Fine, i dont give a damn about that. She can eat those sweet words till she die, i wont stop her. But she always makes my life so miserable, why does life is so damn unbalance?
Why cant they just perish ?